Do You Want Some Cheese with That Whine?
As a child I did not fuss and complain any more than any other child, but my grievances were always meet with one specific saying, “do you want some cheese with that whine?’ I remember the first time my father said that to me and how mad it made me. That is not what I wanted to hear, all I wanted was for him to give into my demands. I did not realize what my father was trying to tell me until it was too late.
My father died when I was 16. Even though he was a young man, his heart decided it was time for him to go. While I performed CPR, my mother went to call 911, and my little 7-year-old sister slept in the next room, all I could think about was not waking her up. All I cared about was that her last memory of her father could not, would not, be of him lying on floor, slightly discolored. After the ambulance came and took my father away, I was left alone with my thoughts and my little sister. She woke up shortly after they left and crawled into my lap. Not long after that, she started to grumble because she wanted to know where Mommy and Daddy were, when they would be home, and if we could go swimming. As clear as it was yesterday, I remember looking down at her and saying, “Do you want some cheese with that whine?”
That was the first time I ever uttered those words, but it would not be the last. As the next week unfolded I had many other moments like this one, realizing that I was doing exactly what my father used to do. I was slowly but surely taking over the void he left in our lives when he died. My mother lost herself in her grief for the next year, while my little sister refused to let me out of her sight. Those first weeks are still a total blur in my mind except that first morning when I uttered those fateful words. The small sayings and ideas that my father used to take care of his family had now become my little sayings and my ideas. It took some time, but I also came to realize that all those times he said that phrase that always upset me; he was trying to teach me to be like him.
I believe in the love of a father for his daughter and I believe in the love of a daughter for her family. I have never regretting taking over where my father left off. When it came to driving my sister to the doctor, cooking dinner, running the errands, coaching little girls soccer, or holding my mother while she cried herself to sleep; I was only more than happy to comply. I believe, in this world, if you do not find someone or something to fill the voids in your heart
,
you will not be here for long. I found solace in my fathers’ passing by making sure my family was taken care of. He taught me to stop yammering, look up, and press on. I now believe that where there is whining there should always be a little bit of cheese.
,
you will not be here for long. I found solace in my fathers’ passing by making sure my family was taken care of. He taught me to stop yammering, look up, and press on. I now believe that where there is whining there should always be a little bit of cheese.
Credits
Thanks to GettyImages and the artists: T-Pool/Stock 48
Rakoskerti
Peter Zelei
Foodcollection RF
Ina Peters
Paul Viant
Tom Kelley Archieve
MIXA Co. Ltd.
Chirstopher Robbins
James Baigrie
Photolink
Stockbyte
Lisa Romerein
Karyn R. Millet
Jamie Grill
Ted Tamburo
Image Source
Chad Ehlers
Stuart O’Sullivan
Jupiterimages
Rosemary Weller
Ian Cumming
Altsendo Images
Justin Lewis
DAJ
Music By: Dave Matthews Band “The Dreaming Tree”
